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January 29, 2006

Comments

Lee

Big hugs to you Em. It is a hard enough job being a mum at the best of times.. let alone picking up everything and moving thousands of miles from home. Hang in there girl! xoxo

~shazz~

i'll be honest....being a mum, at times, really sucks. i feel like every other woman in the whole world was given an instruction book at the birth of their child on how to raise them, how to be a perfect wife/mother/friend/scrapper/housekeeper/career woman. so guys....where's my copy...???
how can i feel such a failure at this important job when others seem to hold it all together and look and act so great while doing it...???
lucky all the smiles and cuddles and hugs and "i love yous" and laughter and feelings of pride and unconditional love far outweigh all those other perceived failures i have as a mother.
rest assured you are your own person em and you have the perfect vehicle to express your individuality - your art - stay strong, be happy and know just how great you really are

xo

Trish Reed

I too am feeling this ATM!!!! I have 5 children the oldest of which is 16 and the youngest is 3, I'm turning 35 this year and due to an unthinking comment made by my DH I'm wondering what is it all for?????, I have concentrated on their health and wellbeing for so long I think I have lost me!!!!!!

It is important to take time out for you, I thought making them most important was all I needed, but sadly I think not anymore. Find you again!!!! be that happy, outgoing somewhat outrageous person you used to be and embrace her and hold on to her and never let go. She isn't that far away!!!!! you will find her and rejoice your life again. God will show you the way.

Trish

AL.

Em, I have no words of wisdom to offer, just be yourself and everything will turn out fine, you have gone through a big life change and it will be weird for a while, but the "you" in you will return and you will make your new "normal" a passage of fun and creativity again.
Take care, :) AL.

Els

It's all part of moving to another country - another continent. I know exactly how you feel, moved from Europe to Australia nearly one year ago and I have been having these feelings for months, with ups and downs. I think it is just in us as women to look after everyone around us first - children, husband - and yes there is never any time left to look after ourselves. Like you said, do you even KNOW what you feel and think?? It's hard isn't it. Exciting, challenging but very hard at times.

I find it really helps to demand a few hours a week just for yourself, get out, do something on your own, have a coffee somewhere and just try and find out how you really feel. It will get better, but please don't ever doubt yourself. Of course you are doing a great job, don't ever doubt that. And you have your art, it will all come together again, just give it time. And remember, it's not forever. It's hard getting settled and rediscovering yourself in a new country and new culture.

You'll be alright :-)
Els

april haymore

Em, Ohhhhh I have been there, and climbed out of it, and been back to that place, and climbed out...and the cycle seems to continue. And as frustrating as it is, its is necessary to grow and find new strenghts and new weeknesses. I admit, I liked the "old fun" me....and some of that still exists, but is in a little more moderation.I too feel like I have "lost myself"....but then I will find a new part of myself. Sometimes i hate that, sometimes I am greatful for that. These feeings and emotions and thoughts that you have, we all go thru it at sometime, and some of us go thru it time and time again. hang in there. you have been thru sooooooo many changes. Somehow, someway, look for insight as you go thru this. As frustrating as it is, you will find yourself reflecting and thinking deep a lot. That is good for your soul. record it! I will keep you in my prayers.

Ngaire

OH EM!!
I can hear the sadness and unsuredness in your voice. You know that the biggest thing is that you are on the other side of the world, and all the gals you connected with on a regular basis , aren't there to connect with. I am sure that this is what you are missing, some DOWN TIME, with girlfriends. Time to unload and giggle and cry, and be AMAZED at the BRAVE and OVERWHELMINGLY hard thing you have done , to support your partner. You probably feel like it is up to you to hold your little family together.. I guess you might be feeling a little resentful of that. I would!
Make sure that you get some time in your week , when it is ALL ABOUT YOU. When husbands and kids go away together and you can indulge you need to cry, create, read, whatever,.. to give yourself the comfort and love that you spend so much of your time giving the rest of your little family.
I guess i want to say this to you:
You have the right to be frightened.
You are incredibly brave.
You have the right to mourn for your previous life.
You have the right to be excited about what your new life will bring.
You have the right to be nurtured, as well as nuturing.
You are strong , and your unsuredness will pass.
You will make a fabulous new life for your family and you.
You are loved.
You are missed.:)
YOU ARE INCREDIBLEY BRAVE!

Love and good karma, darlin
Ngai
xxx

sarah h.

Aw, Babe. It's just all too much. It's Ok though. Think of it as winter. Spring is on the way. It always comes. And think how warm and bright it will feel when it arrives and you are YOU again. You are a living thing, and maybe you are dormant for a while so your roots could go down deeper, and you can grow stronger.

I hear Texas is a good place for a person to visit, if they are in need of a boost, and a break!!!! :)

Bec

You are still all that you ever were, it is just all overwhelmed by the huge changes that have taken place in your life! Just allow yourself some time to adjust! You're allowed to feel strange for awhile! You always were a little strange......hehehe!!! Love you!

tonya

Ya know, Em, I think it's like this: It's a dance, and when dancing, sometime you lead and sometimes you are led. Neither means you're not you, just that you're you in a slightly different capacity, depending on which you are doing at the time. And also like dancing, its something you have to learn (often as you go) so its constantly evolving into a more complicated series of "steps". You're smack dab in the middle of enormous personal (and professional) changes and I think it's gonna have bumpy parts. and that is exactly what keeps it interesting! Ivy is young and supremely adaptable to change - most likely because YOU are doing such a damn fine job of sheltering her so her world is as "normal" as possible right now. She'll settle in, and then it will be your turn. Moms are always last and thats OK - we're the only ones truly capable of handling that position! hang in there!
t

Tena

Hang tight Em, I am POSITIVE you have bored no one to tears, your personality sparkles like diamonds. I can so relate to wondering if sometimes my role on this earth is not to be at the beck and call of my loved ones...... it will improve. Unfortunately we woman seem to be way better at caring for others than others are sometimes capable of caring for us! hugs Tena

Melissa H

Hang in there Em!! I know how you feel - just yesterday I said to Jase that ALL I feel I ever do is tidy up the house!!!! Every day, day in and out I tidy up after these three kids, who seem to create SO much mess! I know it won't be like this forever and probably one day I will look back and long for THESE days again!! And as much as you long for the OLD you, chatting with you the other day, you haven't changed... you are still the same thoughtful, giving, soul-filled person you were...you're just in a different place! Thinking of you!

Sally M

Em, whether we like it or not, and whether we mean for it to happen, we are all too often defined by what we *do*. In Perth you felt more yourself, you had your DTs, your friends, family, your own special home, and all the other things that go with it. Over there, well at the moment, you have Mik and Ivy. But soon, without a doubt, you will find your own place there again, with things to call your own. Hoping I can find it for myself soon too.

charleigh

it feels terrible right now but this too shall pass ... sending you cyber (((((hugs))))) be kind to yourself. its been a huge move to another country - so far from family & friends. but you are still you & you'll find your niche soon. does mik know you're feeling drained? can you eeek out some you time to just create & play? to read? the www.comfortqueen.com site has some great pick-me-ups & instant soothers. you'll be feeling like your old crazy self in no time! :)
PS. are you up to being tagged?

michelleg

i think that we as women feel that way every once in a while...where we aren't who we say or think we are and all we are at that moment is housemaid/caretaker of every single thinng on the planet, so it feels sometimes....that's when you break away and have your ME time and do whatever you want to do. leave the husband and kid for an hour or so and do something for you..it will keep you sane and as boring as we women think we are at times, the single chicks who have no kids or husbands couldn't hang for a day in the crazy mother/wife role that we live in. on top of that...you moved from way over there ------------> Australia to way over here ----------------------> Cali. get away for an hour, don't unpack tomorrow/today, do something for you!!!! Take care, hope all gets better big hugs to you woman!!!!!

patty

em,
this is EXACTLY how I felt for the last 4 days...you just put it into words for me! WOW!
you are not alone!
-p

Laura

I think you're tired! It's OK, you deserve to be tired. You need to smile at those you love & say: "BYe , bye babies..Mommy's going out for a couple hours I know you can fend for yourselves." Then head to wherever you want to go..shop..museum..park..bathtub..wherever & take some time for yourself. I went through what you are about 3 years ago, my son was 4, my daughter 1 & Me I was simply 30 something & boring! My husband insistead I was still that wonderful women he met & fell in love with but the problem was I was no longer in love with myself & found being with myself boring!! So, did some soul searching, insisted on time for myself, made a couple new friends & began to take interest in my own life. Big hugs!!! It gets better.

Laura

a friend in Illinois

t

emily. we need to talk. ;)
i can fill your head with all sorts of nonsense that will help you with this. dangit. if life wasnt so busy, i would come over tomorrow.

okay, lets talk soon so we can work this out.

Randell

You are interesting and creative for just having blogged this!!! I alway say ....'And this to shall pass'.....It better......lol (one 9-month old dd, and 4 year old dd)

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